Planning to relocate to start a new life... where in NE USA is a good city to do this?

My family and I are planning to start over. Mom is 64 and semi-retired, sis and i are mid-30's looking for a good, steady job market to land into. We need an area no too metro but still have plenty of distractions and opportunities for all of us with varied interests. Mom is a gambling guru with a weakness for slots and bingo, sis is into theatre, arts, and we need to work on finding her a good, solid man and I am someone who has never really found his place in life and needs someplace with lots of distractions and a tolerance and good base for alternative lifestyle (i'm gay). Any input is greatly appreciated. Have been living in orlando for the past 5 years and need to get back north somewhere. Originally from upstate NY. Thanks in advance for your help.